Happy 2019!

Ever have moments when you have a lot to say, but nothing to say when there’s an opportunity? Yes, here! I wanted to stay current on Connect2Self, but I didn’t have takeaways to share. Until now. I’ve moved 2 states, excelled at 2 jobs, and been tending to a most treasured relationship. I hope this post finds you well. 

I’ll start with some lessons I learned in the last three years: 

I really believe in true love. My 20+ year marriage went crazy rocky soon after I published my memoir, for reasons I’ll probably explore in another book someday. To address the issues, I swiftly got a job in our home state of Massachusetts, and the family was going to follow suit after our son graduated from high school in Colorado. They ended up in Vermont.

In MA, I had a key position helping top graduate students get jobs from companies like Apple, Amazon, and Tesla. My head was spinning from learning my role and living alone in a new place. My heart was breaking with every call with my beloved that ended up in arguments and contempt. I grew up with this and chose a mate who I thought wasn’t like my father. (I wasn’t my mother, either.) My inner child was frightened. I didn’t want a broken family. I clung on. The more I did that the worse it got. The dissonance was all-consuming. Back in the Black Recliner I went, and thank goodness for therapy. During that time, I asked for guidance -if this is true love, it should prevail. It was the notion that kept me going.

The heart is our compass. When a constant in life changes, our confidence takes a beating. In the midst of marriage angst, what I knew as true was no longer that. Life became unpredictable and paralyzing when faced with a choice. In a prolonged state of conflict, everyone was sensitive, and every word, act I bestowed had big consequences. With my moon in Aries, my instinct was to confront.

Throughout the turmoil, my friend Agne consistently asked me “What does your heart say?” I’m thankful for her, because when in angst, this simple question was the first thing I forgot. Bringing it back to the heart, an organ that housed all feelings, was a brilliant mind-body hack. The heart chakra connects the upper and lower 3 chakras. It is where spiritual intention meets physical manifestation. Not just an engine for the body, the heart is omniscient. It has helped me make sound decisions.

“Make yourself proud.” During a mopey food shopping trip, I came across this note card. Its rainbow colors caught my eye. On top of the teetering marriage, I had realized my true role at work wasn’t what I thought it was. The university felt like a business but I saw myself as an educator. Who I was and what was I doing? The trade offs I made for the job didn’t work out as expected. Rude awakening, dark night of the soul -you name it, I had it.

I stuck “Make yourself proud” on the fridge door so I could see it from all angles in the apartment. Yeah. I got to pull myself back up, inner child in tow. If I’m worthy, as I’d expressed to my spouse and boss, I better show up and evolve in a way that I was proud of. With therapy, friends, and family, I make significant mental strides in a short time. It was very freeing. At work, I hit a goal that served my program well. Personally, I dropped a huge anvil of fears, which allowed me to shift and leap for the brass ring. It lifted my marriage. Bootcamp for Sue 2.0 produced a satisfying result so far.

The Newer Me, 2019

Since I last blogged, I had turned 50. With that came more gray hair, confidence in my energy healing, deeper understanding and better command of psychological astrology, and yearning to help people mend and fly. I’m more comfortable calling myself an author. There are 5-star reviews on my memoir. I’m grateful that it has made an impact on people’s lives.

I love to learn and improve my craft. I’ve joined an organization on energy psychology; studied with Anodea Judith on mastering the charge within. I was invited to speak at Reiki Rays summit in May, offering a very practical use for Reiki. Stay tuned! For 2019, my plan includes writing mini books on self-care & chakras, and a workbook on shifting beliefs for positive change, using my memoir as a framework.

I’d love to hear from you. How you are doing, your goals and dreams for this year and beyond. Belated 2019 blessings on this first full moon, which happens to be a lunar eclipse in creative, expressive Leo. May we be the bright star that shines through darkness and warms hearts.