The Landing Is Only a Foot Away

I was hanging on a wrought iron chain between two floors, doing something daring. After what felt like a heroic act I couldn’t get down and my light blue cotton underwear was showing. My legs were bent in an effort to stay up. A crowd of friends and unknowns spread beneath me, gasping ‘She needs help.’

It was near wake-up time, I knew, because my beloved had rustled out of bed. I even knew it was a dream but I couldn’t snap out of it. I needed to finish the incident. The feelings of anxiety and stuckness was real: I want to get down to the ground. People are looking at me (or my bum). My body is not strong enough and I need someone, someone like my father to hold my midsection so I can drop from the metal links on which I had been clinging.

The appearance of my father’s face is enough for a year long analysis of this morning-mare. Perhaps he represents my foodie healer osteopath, Keith Swan. He is sort of a father figure. We discuss gluten-free eats while he aligns my bones and joints in the midsection. My father is a foodie too, but growing up, he was less kind about my needing help in a crisis.

The stuckness is about the lack of writing here and in my manuscript revision. Honestly, since a month ago, I feel like I have nothing useful to say. Wise people like Jeff Brown, Tama Kieves, Katie Sweetman, Irma Kaye Sawyer, Lori Carter, Pauline Capalbo Esposito, Bonnie Collins, Amy Kiffe, Sarina Baptista, Susan Piver, Ram Dass, Denise Linn, Deborah King, Louise Hay… you know, folks up and down the lightworking chain have been heralding 2014, the new moon, the full moon, lessons, illuminations -they say it all. Their words inspire me. Yes, I agree. Then silence from me.

Perhaps it is a time for absorbing, not dispensing.

Yikes. Having my undergarment exposed in a dream. How I express my concern of being raw and getting found out. Crisis for the public to see. Where is that memoir, Sue? Can’t wait to read it. Thank you, my earthly colleagues. Please keep asking. It’s coming. I have a few more emotional-owning hurdles to leap over, and word sculpting to do.

And the heroic, daring thing that got me hanging between floors? I am pretty sure it is my Connect2Self work, integrating writing to heal, astrological psychology, and Reiki to help others reach out to their inner selves. Let’s acknowledge and heal childhood traumas, and let go of negative energetic imprints we internalized from our wounds. It is not always roses, puppies, and ice cream. Will people like to dig within, identify their angst, and purge it? It will be a good challenge to make this roses-puppy-ice cream worthy.

As I dangled midair, desperation hit and caused me to straighten my body. Then I realized that my feet were only a foot away from the ground. Aha. I opened my hands and hopped onto the floor. The crowd dispersed. I saw my dear friend Nancy shaking her silver head, laughing at the drama I just went through. Only Sue.

I am thankful that the spirits and my subconscious relay that I can do this. Innovate, be different, be public and exposed. Let go of holding on for dear life!

Next time I get anxious, I will recall that the landing is only a foot away. Trust the universe and release.